Listening is one of those key skills we claim to be really good at. But when we have a bit of quiet, honest reflection, most of us would acknowledge that sometimes we could be better.
We know the theory by now; there are lots of very good courses available that teach us to listen more closely and be more mindful of the speaker… certainly they make a difference.
But how often do we really listen… I mean REALLY listen… and clearly hear what the speaker is saying….versus either what we think they are saying or what we expect them to say?
Mood often influences exactly what we hear. How aware are we of our mood when we listen? For example, if we are angry then we are more likely to ‘hear’ comments, or more correctly think that we hear comments that feed or support our anger.
And what about when our mood is positive – is our positivity also distorting what we hear? Should we not treat it as a factor to be aware of?
Well… yes we should. The influence of positivity versus reality is especially hard to spot sometimes.
You see, all human experience comes from our thinking and, for us, our thoughts appear to be real. If we are feeling something when we are listening to someone, before we convince ourselves we’re listening well we need to check…. are we really feeling for the other person or are our perceptions just coming from our thinking?
Only when we are truly present, with quiet minds can we be sure that we are hearing the speaker… rather than our thinking.
Do you tend to say nothing when you really want to speak up? Is it terrifying to say what you really think, because of what you’ll think will happen if you do it? When you do speak, does it come out differently to how you wanted it to?
Join me on the 29th November at 1PM for a free 30 minute webinar where’ll I’ll teach you how to let go of that fear and put yourself forward with a confidence that impresses. I’ll show you how it all starts with your thinking, and once you grasp this truth, it will free you to communicate masterfully.